By my best guess I am now a double ace at Helicopters VS Kites.
My stats are much lower at Kite VS Kite...
Sure, I do a lot of aviation oriented instruction... but I am also spreading general cultural knowledge and understanding. Thank god I am such a renaissance man and can discuss almost all subjects with authority.
Today's ground training topics:
1) Women's menstrual cycles
Point - Women get a disease every month... they are not clean and you can't touch them. They are dirty during this time.
Counterpoint - True... but amazingly in America it is not against the law to have sex with them during this time. This is what we call in America the "week of blow jobs and advil"
2) Blue Jobs
Point - Blue jobs are very nice! It should be on a schedule! Schedule is very good for man.
Counterpoint - You schedule your blow jobs?
-some discussion passes where it is discovered that "blue jobs" are actually "blow jobs..." and are not the same as penetrating sex... after a brief description of actual blow jobs, I now have a few intrigued but scandalized afghan pilots in front of me. I also told them that it is very polite to your wife if you give your wife the blue job in return to her pussy. (It sounds crass on here, but I have to work with the english words they already know... it got the point across!) I also recommended that everyone involved take showers first! I think that might be vital to everyones enjoyment of blue jobs around here!
3) Tactical Descents into an Unfriendly Area
Point - Lets not circle low and slow over taliban land anymore OK guys?
Counterpoint - Yes...
(we will be practicing this skill more tomorrow in a safer area)
4) Romancing the ladies
Point - Can I tell to American girls, "Make sexy with me!"
Counterpoint - No... that almost never works... you need to make them think it is a good idea first. You know, be romantic!
Point - Can you teach us how to be romantic?
Counterpoint - Yes... Yes I can! Get out your notebooks boys!
5 minutes later...
Counterpoint - No... no I can't... (I gave them the "roses are red, violets are blue..." poem to work with. They will have to figure it out from there.)