Wednesday, December 27, 2006

CNN article!

Ladies, it is for your own good.

This may have been posted before around here... but CNN wouldn't lie!

Two steps forward, one step back...

Test Drive # 1 : Fiat Spider

I had the whole thing together and it was time for a real test drive, or least around the block. Around the block... so far so good... now out onto the main street... so far so good... get it up to speed. Well it was going well from what I could see until I looked in the rear view mirror. I saw a billowing cloud of white smoke and cars swerving to get out from behind me. "Ah shit!" I said to my self. My patch of the leaking crack in my valve cover must not have worked.

I started heading directly for home when I got caught at the light. As I was sitting at the light, smoke is oozing from every hole in the car; out from the hood seems, the wheel wells, radiator intake... everywhere! I almost couldn't see the traffic light anymore there was so much smoke surrounding my car. I was even starting to get that carbon monoxide stomach ache. This guy pulled up to me and shouted, "Hey man, I think you are on fire!"

I said, "Naah, I think I might have a little bit of an oil leak..."

At this the dude in the pick up gave me that funny look people give you when they think you are completely crazy and rolled up his window. Maybe he wanted to avoid the stomach ache...

Anyway I was only a block away from home and it would have done no good to park it there in the middle of the busy street. Plus I would have had to still drive it home to fix it, might as well keep going. The light changed and I emerged from my personal smoke screen and drove the half a block to my parking lot and popped the hood. (I was pretty sure that it was just the oil leak but I was ready with the fire extinguisher anyway.)

As it turns out it was just the oil spewing onto the exhaust manifold... and the rest of the engine compartment. Right now there is enough oil that you could deep fry a turkey on the top of the engine. (That is a little bit of an exaggeration, but in all honesty you could deep fry at least a chicken breast.)

So what did I learn from all this? First of all, I for sure need a new exhaust valve cover. Second and more importantly! I now know exactly how to build a 007 style smoke screen generator for any car. I plan to build a metal shroud out of stove pipe around the exhaust manifolds. Then put in there little nozzles that will squirt oil or hydraulic fluid or something that will make a lot of smoke when it hits the hot manifold. To make it useful, I will duct the smokey air to the back of the car with dryer hose! I think I'll begin this project as soon as I get the fiat running for real!

Monday, December 25, 2006

Self propelled... though not road worthy.

As you see here, the top half of the engine is now back in the Fiat. Unfortunately I didn't take this picture before I started running the engine. Almost immediately after getting it running it started spewing oil all over what had been meticulously cleaned cast aluminum. It was a lot shinier half an hour before this picture. That will teach me. Somehow a crack developed in my valve cover. I am thinking JB weld or gluing gasket material over the crack along with stop drilling the ends of the cracks.

I also moved the car to a different spot in the parking lot so that all of the other people in my apartment will know that this car is not completely immobile.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

If you don't like your tires...

Perhaps you should practice your driving!

or for those of you with front wheel drive...

and if you are completely insane...

Monday, December 11, 2006

More improbable pictures....

This makes the left over warp drive fields look like nothing at all on the weirdness factor. Chupakabra... as common as a fire hydrant!... compared to this!!! it is a baby, in my arms, in the squadron bar... this is one of those marriage inducing babies I was talking about. Moments before this picture was taken I got a lecture from the kids mother on the benefits of birth control.

Who wants to come and visit Montana! Snow boarding should be good. I have open couches for New Years!

Actually it is better now. It was in the high 40's this afternoon. We have colors here again!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Flying through worm holes...

Now I have to say that a lot of my friends around here who are locals have hinted that it is probably us doing all the cow mutilations. I assure them that we have nothing to do with it... but then they point out that we are the ones that fly around in blacked out helicopters and practice sneaking everywhere. They have a point, but it isn't us.

I do have some very unusual photographic evidence of aliens. I believe that several weeks ago on a routine training mission we flew through a worm hole... most likely left from a UFO with gravity drive engines. You will notice in this photograph that the tail rotor is being temporarily warped by the residual gravity fields. Also, the shadow from the main-rotor is not lined up with its shadow. Lucky I happened to have a camera!

You haven't lived till you try and maintain position on lead as he goes through a worm hole!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Press this button.

I know Chestocrates already posted this link, but I want to spread the word too. Tell your friends... make some friends and then tell them. What ever... make it happen, should be fun anyways!