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Monday, January 12, 2009

The worms craw in, the worms crawl out...

I was talking to one of the camp doctors. We got onto the subject of anti-malaria medication. In his opinion, malaria is by far not the most prevalent problem around here. Apparently the biggest thing going on around here is intestinal parasites... yep... that's right... WORMS!

HELL YEA!

So... as it turns out, most of the time they are fairly asymptomatic. Some might rob you of nutrients and some might make your anus itch... but most people that have them, would actually never know it. I was thinking about the possibility that I might have tiny worms living inside me. Even though I am not building sandcastles along the open suers, I am still pretty exposed to local water, people, and food... I have somewhat resigned myself to the fact that I probably have "parasites" living in me right now.

At first it seemed a little gross. Dude! There could be worms in me... freaking WORMS! I think it was put best by "The Vegetable" yesterday when he said, "the best thing about worms is that you can't get them from sex... otherwise I would be a monk."

But, I have been getting used to the idea after talking to that doctor. I kind of have started to think of them like little internal pets! I want to catch one and look at it. I will say though... even though they are kind of growing on me, I still like to mess with them! How do you mess with your worms you might ask?



In fact, my habit of eating food as spicy as I can around here may even make it too uncomfortable for them to live in me. Who knows... maybe they all moved out! To be honest, I would really like to get my worms drunk!

For those of you who might come in contact with me after I get home, don't worry... De-worming is one of the standard procedures for people returning from a deployment from around here. From what I understand... you get off the plane, they shake your hand, (then they wash theirs), then they give you the de-worming pills.

Not only am I building a nation... I like to think I am also building the most impenetrable immune system every know!

7 comments:

Gams said...

*raises glass of white zin*
here's to parasites and the strength which they lend to us!

amateur.sophist said...

Something about those worm faces disturbes me on a very deep level.




they shall haunt my dreams.

Notorious said...

Hey, at least they only exist on your computer... Those faces came from inside my brain!!!

Also, better to have them haunt your dreams than have their haunt be your intestines!

I have also recently found that they are sometimes though rarely transmitted by some types of sex. So... It looks like The Vegetable is going to become a monk! (though I imagine certain activities transmit them more often than others.) I hope he goes Shao Lin style!

amateur.sophist said...

You know, the Greeks invented that style...

recycled brains said...

Careful about those pinworms though. Fortified pajama pants may be necessary...

"After mating, the male dies. The female migrates to the anus and emerges, usually during the night, to deposit about 10,000 to 20,000 eggs in the perianal area (around the anus). She then secretes a substance which causes a very strong itching sensation, inciting the host to scratch the area and thus transfer some of the eggs to the fingers. Eggs can also be transferred to cloth, toys, and the bathtub. Once ingested orally, the larvae hatch in the small intestine specifically the duodenum and migrate back to the large intestine where they mature, maturity is reached in 30-45 days. The eggs can survive for 2 to 3 weeks on their own outside of the human body. In some cases, the larvae will hatch in the peri-anal area and travel back inside the anus, up the rectum, and back into the intestines where they mature."

Chestocrates said...

It's the mother-fucking circle of life.

What are you going to do about the worms in your brain, the ones with the pointy teeth?

Also, the most annoying parasites of all time are transmitted through standard, run of the mill sex. They're called babies. They grow inside a woman's uterus, stealing her nutrients; later, nutrients, resources, and sleep; later, your hopes and dreams for them; and finally, they put you in a fucking nursing home and laugh because you can't even feed yourself, you worthless old, toothless fuck.

Notorious said...

Yea, pinworms seem like an ugly bunch... I hope if I get a choice I have some amiable and neighborly round worms!

As for the ones in my brain... I though we all had them there!