Sunday, January 04, 2009

Last night!

So there I was...

Sound asleep having wacko dreams in there own right, when...


My bed was shaking back and forth, everything was rattling around. The whole container was bouncing back and forth.

Laying in the darkness my half asleep mind was instantly awake and turning in overdrive... (though fully awake due to a shot of adrenaline... it was still a mind confused by being instantly awake in a dark, loud, shaking shipping container.)

I vocalized my first thought to my still sleeping roommate, "Dude, do you hear that! We are fucking under attack!"

His responce, "wwwwhhhaaaa.... narf narf..." (apparently his still fully SLEEPING mind was not bothered by a roommate yelling "we are fucking under attack." I said it again more forcefully and it was acknowledged by a "...really?" and nothing more.

I listened a moment, then made this decision, "Fuck this shit, I am staying in bed." I then rationalized this decision with these supporting thoughts, "well... I am on the inside of the building... It sounds like just mortars, I'll get up for gunfire... we don't have a real bunker to go to anyways... besides that, it is snowing and dark outside so the bad guys probably can't see what they are shooting at tonight... besides all that, if it was serious the Belgians would would put on the god damn sirens!" A few moments later, my container stopped shaking and I fell back asleep.

The next morning I woke up and vaguely remembered being a little spazy in the middle of the night. If something really had been happening, I am sure it would be obvious... yet everything seems normal. I figured I must have just woken up from a bad dream I had in the middle of the night. Whatever, no problem.

Then It occurred to me to ask some other people if they remembered anything.

As it turns out this was what had happened.

We have had a few earth quakes here in the past 8 months but this was definitely the biggest and longest. When they happen and I am with the Afghans, they instead of going outside their crumbling ancient buildings... sit and repeat over and over, "Allah Akbar." (God is the Greatest) I find this reaction just as strange as they find mine. (I go outside the crappy ass buildings until the shaking stops.) But so far we are all still here so I guess both reactions produce the same result...

The good news is that even with all the snow and rain we have been having combined with almost everyone in this country living in mud huts... I haven't heard of any major damages or injuries. Allah Akbar!

And of course, I am sure you have all thought of the biggest lesson to take away from this story. Yes, that's right... "my roommate is a sound sleeping motherfucker, so I can wack-off like a adolescent chimp and not worry at all about waking him up!"


Anonymous said...

mmmm earthquakes.


Chestocrates said...

Maybe it's not such a good idea to play the chimp in such a confined space. You could come home one evening, after a long day at the office, and find a suprise on your pillow.

Also, you should requisition one of those bad-ass yurts. I'm sure those wandering goatherders would be more than happy to trade up for some viagra/asian porn/chocolate chip cookies.

You get anything in the mail from me yet?

Anonymous said...

And who would trust the Belgians to put up the sirens? Certainly not anyone with single Belgian gene.

6.2. Congratulations, Dude!
Allah Akbar!

Notorious said...

We had another one last night... thanks for the link. Apearently it was only a 5.8. Dust, mud, snow, insane heat, camel spiders, malaria, famine, militant religious fanatics, and now earthquakes. Anyone want to visit?

It is OK because I am the Alfa Chimp! Though... that does explain why I keep getting pink eye!

Well, I have traded a Victoria's Secret catilogue for a locally made kite. A Urt is probably next.

Yes, the mind blowing reply is in the mail!

Indeed... it is the Belgian army running security around here...

broheim said...

Ahh beating off like an adolescent chimp... nice image, make sure you do the voice effects too... maybe fling some poop for theatrics... or not that would be hard to explain in the morning. any how as for sleeping through mortar barrages, it can easily be done. after about two months of getting them daily when we were in Bayji, i learned to sleep through them. although after being up for several days will get you to the point where you will sleep through anything... you wouldnt know this due to mandatory crew rest. Sorry i had to be a dick and take the shot. however what always seemed to wake me up was the mortar we had on the roof right above my room that when we'd counter fire, would blow chips and concrete dust down on me. however i got pretty good at waking up, swearing, listening for how excited people were around me, pulling the blanket over my head and being instantly back asleep. moral of the story, if you can hear them you dont have to worry about them, its the one you dont hear that's the concern.

Tryn said...

Glad you at least wake up when you're under attack, cause you sure don't when the cops are banging at your door!