Sunday, September 03, 2006

Birthdays, fish, and the back of a cop car.

My last week was not so impressive as A-S's... no free car, and extra drive train... no exchange of body part viewing, and no completely rocking parties... but...

I am now 26 years old... as far as I can tell it is exactly the same as 25. It has occurred to me that the advantages of birthdays are exponentially decreasing. Do they still give free drinks at bars on your birthday?

Fly fishing... I had pretty much considered this the silliest activity on the planet. You are trying to catch a fish with a hook disguised with a feather as a bug. I had believed that fish were to smart to be tricked by this. I had even tried it out... one can't catch a fish with a feather and a hook. Apparently I was wrong! I went fishing on the Missouri with my dad while he was here. Fish are not smart... I didn't know there where that many fish in the river... let alone that they could be tricked into eating a feather... not even a worm!

Well conservation of greatness came into effect later that day, those fish needed to be paid for cosmic payback style. My dad and I where driving to the Sip n Dip... (The hotel bar with the mermaids.) Well I got pulled over... It may have had something to do with the crappy red sports car I was driving with no muffler and intermittent lights... I also accidentally turned down a one-way... then immediately turned into an ally after realizing my mistake. But anyways, I was pulled over and accused of drunk driving. I was taken out of the car and made to perform all sorts of counting and balance exercises. After what seemed to me like passing all of them with flying colors, I was put in the back of the cop car. This is the point that they lectured my dad about being such a crappy father and me how weird it was to go to a bar with my dad. They also implied some odd things about a father and son going to a hotel with each other... never mind that it is the most famous bar and restaurant in Great Falls... Anyways, I was breathalized anyways... passed, then released back into the wild. I honestly thought I was about to be arrested in front of my dad... I found out later that he was already making plans to spring me out! I was making similar plans and was systematically searching for weaknesses in the cop car design.

So the point of all this... the cosmic balance, or Karma, or what ever you want to call it must be maintained. So after catching and releasing all of those fish, we were ourselves caught and released.

Thank god we didn't keep any fish!


Notorious said...

P.S. Those of you that know my mother... let's not mention this stuff to her... Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Good idea about your mother.

For future reference, you can--at least theoretically--refuse the field sobriety tests (and go straight to the breathalizer, which will cost you your license if you refuse it in most states). Refusing the field sobriety hi-jinks and going straight to the .08 question is a good plan if you really are (mostly) sober.

Sounds like it's time to finish your Fiat repair (and get out of Great Falls)? My guess is that John was the one who looked guilty. Couldn't have been you.
Sam the Prosecutor

amateur.sophist said...

I particularly enjoy how the fuzz had to imply something about you and your old man doing "weird" things at the hotel, likely as a method a) venting their frustration with your sobriety or b) some pseudo cop attempt at mind tricks.

Man i hate small town cops. You never have this bullshit with cops around here. If you end up in the back of a squad car in these parts, it's likely because you were found killing someone.

Chestocrates said...

But, if you had kept the fish, you would have had some tasty fish to eat after returning from your adventure.

Also, you gotta get a red phone for your fire team for occasions such as that.

kodjo said...

I see a pattern developing here. Why do you keep getting pulled over for drunk driving when you're sober? And then going through all the field tests and having to take a breathalizer?