"American Co-Pilots"

American Co-pilots...

Job opportunities!

In other news, I have a very cute girl who lives in my apartment. (Actually several, but this is a story only about one.) Unfortunately she locked herself out of her apartment. Luckily she had some repelling gear in her car. How does repelling gear help you unlock your apartment door you might ask. I might answer with this. She went to the top of the building, tied off, and repelled down the side of the building to her apartment window. Upon finding the screen blocking her entry through the window, she one handedly pulled her knife, sliced open the screen, then reached her hand in and jettisoned the screen from the building. Without the screen in the way she was then able to swing in through the window and into her apartment. Total time from lock out to re-entry... approximately 7 minutes. I thought this was quite impressive! I also think I should start decorating my window sills with cactus.

Mustache March!

I hope everyone remembered to get economy packs of condoms... because everyone is about to look like Tom Selleck. That's right folks, no shaving your upper lips for the rest of the month. Wives and girlfriends dread it, people with small children fear it, and real men mark it on their calender like little kids look forward to Christmas... it is indeed Mustache March!

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Found by Cheeky's friend Todd.

Kiwi

Never to roll again...

I spent all Friday trying to get some new seats for the Fiat. There are none in the junkyards around here, but I was looking for something that would fit. I didn't find anything that I was willing to pay for, but I still find junkyards increadable places.

So many cars!

Stacks of cars.

Look! A 70's Buick Rivi...

Why would someone throw away a perfectly good jeep like this? As you can see, the engine is even still there. (Look where the back seat should be.)

I guess no car is immune... (I didn't take this picture, Ferrari 308's don't end up in junkyards in Montana.)

If I only had a garage... I could save this machine. Heck... Even if I just had a yard I could keep this steam shovel in I might do it.

If it has an engine, I can drive it!

Hollywood: Dude! This weather sucks!
Notorious: I don't cancel on a forecast!
Hollywood: This is an observation...
Notorious: Hey, who here studied weather?!


(From the commander's office window)

Commander: Are those chuckleheads really planning to fly?

Notorious: If we don't fly today, they will make us do real work.
Hollywood: I have a better idea!


Notorious: You are a genius! I can't believe they left the keys in them.
Hollywood: We should get another one and race!

Notorious: I call the yellow one.

Hollywood: You ready to eat snow Notorious?


Notorious: Taste my avalanche Hollywood!

Commander: What do you mean my pilots stole your plows... I can see them right here out my window...

Ladder Theory

Some of you may have run across this this in the past. It is science.

New guys, women, socks

FNGs... this last week they have practically been naming themselves:
- One guy caught a helicopter on fire with the windshield wipers..."WIPER"

- The next guy was at arctic survival and wanted some food... so he caught a ride with some high school girls down into Fairbanks and then walked through a Burger King Drive through..."DRIVE THROUGH" Don't worry, I am sure he got their numbers.

- And our newest and fastest at naming himself... This guy had been here less than a week. This being Montana, we were having a mild blizzard. About halfway through the morning, someone asked, "Hey! where is that new guy what's his name?" No one had seen him. Not long after that, the phone at the operation's desk rings. "Hey, this is Lt. "who cares"... I was just double checking that I didn't have to come in to work because of the snow day." Needless to say "SNOW DAY" was informed that this base doesn't have such things and that he was late for work. That is as crazy as Alligator Days in Florida!


As for women...
amateur-Sophist: "I just want you to know, good luck: we're all counting on you."
Notorious: Fucking shit... one would think this would make more sense.
Chestocrates: Holds up hand pretending to be missing his thumb. Laughs with crazy look in his eyes.

Now time to check and see if the washing machines are free.