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Thursday, March 06, 2008

Detroit

This was originally going to be a bunch of pictures of the last few weeks. I have been living out of a suitcase, couch surfing, and living in hotels for the last month and a half. The pictures would have been a fiat covered in ice rime icing and towered over by 12' snowbanks. My mother wearing my helmet. A picture of the pentagon with defense contractor office buildings in the immediate background. Some air and space museum pictures. A cute butt that I was encouraged to take a picture of in hooters, (its owner was the one encouraging it... it seems that shinny cameras make people want to have their picture taken. Now I see why Sophist became a photographer!) But the problem is that I can't get to my pictures here... on the Sophists computer. I am sure as soon as he reads this there will be a follow up post with pictures.

In other news: Believe it or not, I have been called the most unemotional person they knew... by several people. I don't know if that was for sure the case, but I have noticed that i don't get emotionally excited either positively or negatively about almost anything. I actually started to question if I did feel strong emotions at all. I mean, shit! I barely even feel hungry let alone sadness or happiness. I have even had a few moments that I was pretty sure that I was about to die and all I felt at the time was mild disappointment. (Disappointment that I was about to be done with life... not that I was about to die. It was disappointment in the lost opportunities of the future.) The last few weeks have put that question to rest for me for sure. I am happy to report that there is no doubt that my emotion sensors work just fine! I have felt the full scale deflection of unbelievable happiness, hope, heartache, and crushing disappointment... Though, given that I just felt these full scale emotions, I actually think that the emotion sensors may be deadened by the intensity of it all. As crazy as it may sound I feel even more nothing than before.

Another thought: FUCK! Why can't everyone be brave enough to live their life. What the hell else is there to do, bide your time until you die? Fuck that noise!

Ok, I am going to go throw up... or lay face down on the floor. (I guess I am not quite feeling more nothing than before yet, but at least I have that to look forward to.) In the meantime... I am now stuck in Detroit for a week with nothing to do. I need to get my happy little ass to the war...

4 comments:

Notorious said...

P.S. and betrayed... another feeling. Standing there after throwing it all out, only to have someone stand there in silence... knowing what they have to say but still they stand there saying nothing!

Jameson said...

Boo to that! Middle of the night ramblings of the mind can be hell. Unfortunately, wittiness is not happening for me today so that's all I've got. :(

But I was here so I suppose that's what counts so cheer up!

Jameson said...

Oh, and how existential. Sheesh.

R2 said...

I thought you were done talking about this situation??? And then you were going to go back to feeling nothing. This blog entry is up there with the most emotion I've ever witness come out of you.

I just got back from Hawaii and you would have been in HEAVEN with the stores I saw...