The wierd and wild west...

I was recently in Wyoming... where I had both the best and worst martini at the same time. I was in a bar in Guernsey, WY. where I ordered a vodka martini... The bartender said... "We don't make mixed drinks here... only beer or shots... no pussy mixed drinks here buddy." So I told him that a martini is not a mixed drink... it is bar code for Vodka in a cup... so he said, "I can do that...you want olives?" So that is what I got... a plastic cup of popov vodka with 4 olives thrown in... just swimming in there! (you can even see the "coors light" printed on the outside of the cup. At this point I considered this the worst martini ever. I haven't drank popov out of a plastic cup since 1998 in Chestocrate's dorm room. Then the bartender told me the damage... $1... At this point it became the best martini ever!





The next picture I took with my phone while I was sitting at breakfast Sunday morning. This is a restaurant on main street in the middle of town. The local Montanan that I was eating with looked out the window and said, "Now that is something you don't see everyday! A brother on a horse." Notice that the guy riding the horse down the sidewalk at ten in the morning was not the weird part!

Life is short...

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At least death is supposed to come only in threes. Most recently, today, one of my fire team members and friend... Survived by a wife, daughter, and "a bun in the oven.(Due date: 15 Sep 06)" I don't even remember the last conversation I had with him... I think it was about how we are out of pizza and we need to go pack for the trip home.

I guess always leave everyone on good terms.

Birthdays, fish, and the back of a cop car.

My last week was not so impressive as A-S's... no free car, and extra drive train... no exchange of body part viewing, and no completely rocking parties... but...

I am now 26 years old... as far as I can tell it is exactly the same as 25. It has occurred to me that the advantages of birthdays are exponentially decreasing. Do they still give free drinks at bars on your birthday?

Fly fishing... I had pretty much considered this the silliest activity on the planet. You are trying to catch a fish with a hook disguised with a feather as a bug. I had believed that fish were to smart to be tricked by this. I had even tried it out... one can't catch a fish with a feather and a hook. Apparently I was wrong! I went fishing on the Missouri with my dad while he was here. Fish are not smart... I didn't know there where that many fish in the river... let alone that they could be tricked into eating a feather... not even a worm!

Well conservation of greatness came into effect later that day, those fish needed to be paid for cosmic payback style. My dad and I where driving to the Sip n Dip... (The hotel bar with the mermaids.) Well I got pulled over... It may have had something to do with the crappy red sports car I was driving with no muffler and intermittent lights... I also accidentally turned down a one-way... then immediately turned into an ally after realizing my mistake. But anyways, I was pulled over and accused of drunk driving. I was taken out of the car and made to perform all sorts of counting and balance exercises. After what seemed to me like passing all of them with flying colors, I was put in the back of the cop car. This is the point that they lectured my dad about being such a crappy father and me how weird it was to go to a bar with my dad. They also implied some odd things about a father and son going to a hotel with each other... never mind that it is the most famous bar and restaurant in Great Falls... Anyways, I was breathalized anyways... passed, then released back into the wild. I honestly thought I was about to be arrested in front of my dad... I found out later that he was already making plans to spring me out! I was making similar plans and was systematically searching for weaknesses in the cop car design.

So the point of all this... the cosmic balance, or Karma, or what ever you want to call it must be maintained. So after catching and releasing all of those fish, we were ourselves caught and released.

Thank god we didn't keep any fish!

The UN needs more beer!

Training is complete... I am now an "Instructor Pilot, Helicopter, UH-1N" This new designation now makes me elegible for some supper pimp assignments in Florida near Pensacola when I am done here in MT... as well as puts me on the short list for another trip to the desert.

My observations are that US foriegn relations should focus more on beer and food... apparently spicy food. In the dorm that I was living in down in Albuquerque (that is spelled right) there was only one communal kitchen. What ended up developing was that quite a few of us would end up making food for each other and eating together.



This is the night I left...Everyone tried to bring thier spicyest food. Though it wasn't a competition, people noted who had the most painful food to eat. The Europeans and Arabs had nothing for spice. There was quite a close competition between the Indians and Pakastanis but the Tai's kicked total ass... though I don't know about the medium of boiled chicken as a delivery method for spice. This was the only time in my life that I will be considered a culinary genious for melting some cheddar cheeze on some nachos and througing on some hot sause. This really impressed the Tais who wanted to know where they could get "Franks Hot Sause." I told them the condiments section of gas stations... which is actually where I got mine.



This whole excersice even had the romanian fighter pilot drinking water... which he had clamed he had never drank before in his life!

Arabs... zen masters and total playa's, who knew?

So I was sitting around my dorm talking to some of the exchange officers. We ended up talking about mideast politics. My arab friend was absolutly possitive that the late King Hussain of Jordan could have solved everything.

N=Notorious, Y=My buddy who will not be named here.

Y- "the leader of the country should always be passed from father to son... and father to son again... it is the best government."

N- "Why, what are the advantages of that?"

Y- "Then the leader will have the loyalties of the whole country. The king will make the best desision for the whole of the country always."

N- "What happens if a father is a wise leader... but he has a son who is an idiot."

Y- "This is no problem... he will have many wise men around to advise him..."

N- "You don't think a democracy or republic would be better so that everyone gets a hand in who would be the best leader? That way the people could choose the best and wisest leader."

Y- "Well... no, it is a horrable idea. Half the country will not have wanted to have this man the leader... and they won't be loyal. To have a loyal country, don't give them a choice."

N- "What about the possibility of a son who is so complete an idiot so that he won't listen to his advisors?"

Y- "What about the possibility that the people voting for their leader are idiots..."

Tue-shay dude, Tue-shay.


Now the same man on girls...

Y- "Are you married?"

N- "No... (followed by a quick run down of my current situation)"

Y- "We don't have these problems. We would never have a girlfriend."

N- "Interesting, not a bad idea... so how do you meet girls?"

Y- "Coffee shops, class, or if you can not find a girl that way... you can always ask your mother or sisters or aunts to find you one, but it must be a woman who finds you a girl."

N- "Why a woman who finds her for you?"

Y- "It is the best way. You can never know the girl's mind like another girl."

N- "What if you don't like her after you have already been married?"

Y- "Well I think that you should like her. ---- But you can always get divorced."

N- "Is there a lot of divorce?"

Y- "No, almost never. It is better to take another wife."

N- "If you are already having women problems, why would you want another one around... doesn't that make it worse?"

Y- "Ha Ha ha... No my friend, a man with more than one wife will always have the sweetest most attentive wives. A man with one wife must work for her attention, a man with two wives, the wives work for his attention!" (This comment was followed by a wink and hearty laught.)

"A man with two wifes is free... and if he gives them children... he is completely his own man, all he must do is have the roof fixed and pay for food."

I have been over it in my head... I think that is some genious shit... Oh well, off to study my Qaran.

Flying again!

I had my first flight in an actual aircraft yesterday in about a month. A minorish in-flight emergency terminated the flight. At a fairly thrust and power critical moment the #1 engine didn't want to play anymore and desided to just chill out. Luckily we were fairly light weight so we didn't hit the ground... I just flew out of it and brought it gently to the ground. Like a typical machine, when we showed the maintainance dudes... it wouldn't do it again, but the scary part was that the mechanics didn't seem very surprised. They went right to the problem part and said..."yea, we replaced the fuel control unit yesterday... guess there are a few bugs in it yet." WTF?

Rain and Naivity

I saw the CV-22 fly for the first time a few days ago. That is an ungangly beast! See the bottom aircraft. I have flown the simulator for it. To be honest I was hoping for something inspiring and graceful, but it turn out it is just really cool.

In other more green news. It has rained here for the last 6 days strait. I had never seen it rain here before at all... now I can practially watch the plants grow. What was dirt a week ago is now almost golf course green. I really like rain!

On doomsday predictions... hmm... it turns out that 2012 looks like a good number doesn't it.

As naive as it may sound, I think if people took the time to get to know each other, we would all get along. There are a bunch of exchange pilots here in my dorm. They come from all over to learn the secrets of effective and safe aviation. Apart from always making wierd smelling food, they are pretty cool guys. Everybody sits around smoking and telling stories about shitty co-pilots that almost killed them, thier own mistakes and how to ovoid them, how dumb regulations are, and chasing women. (Even the guys from Jordan, Morocco, Pakistan, and others that one wouldn't expect here,) Person to person, we all seem to like each other. If on the smallest level we seem to get along, how the hell do we end up in mortal combat against each other?